The New Yorker's Andy Borowitz has been posting daily about the ridiculousness of the tragedy unfolding South of the Border.
What about this:
"In a special Sunday radio address, House Speaker John Boehner
(R-Ohio) delivered a health tip to the American people, advising them to
delay getting cancer for a year.
“We’re involved in a high-stakes fight over our freedom from
centralized government control of our lives,” said Mr. Boehner, speaking
on behalf of his House colleagues. “You can do your part by delaying
getting cancer.”"
And this:
UNITED STATES (The Borowitz Report)—Millions
of Tea Party loyalists fled the United States in the early morning
hours today, seeking what one of them called “the American dream of
liberty from health care.”
Harland Dorrinson, 47, a tire salesman from Lexington, Kentucky, packed
up his family and whatever belongings he could fit into his Chevy
Suburban just hours before the health-insurance exchanges opened,
joining the Tea Party’s Freedom Caravan with one goal in mind: escape
from Obamacare.
“My father didn’t have health care and neither did my father’s father
before him,” he said. “I’ll be damned if I’m going to let my children
have it.”
But after driving over ten hours to the Canadian border, Mr. Dorrinson
was dismayed to learn that America’s northern neighbor had been in the
iron grip of health care for decades.
“The border guard was so calm when he told me, as if it was the most
normal thing in the world,” he said. “It’s like he was brainwashed by
health care.”
Turning away from Canada, Mr. Dorrinson joined a procession of Tea Party
cars heading south to Mexico, noting, “They may have drug cartels and
narcoterrorism down there, but at least they’ve kept health care out.”
Mr. Dorrinson was halfway to the southern border before he heard through
the Tea Party grapevine that Mexico, too, has public health care, as do
Great Britain, Japan, Turkey, Spain, Belgium, New Zealand, Slovenia,
and dozens of other countries to which he had considered fleeing.
Undaunted, Mr. Dorrinson said he had begun looking into additional
countries, like Chad and North Korea, but he expressed astonishment at a
world seemingly overrun by health care.
“It turns out that the United States is one of the last countries on
earth to get it,” he said. “It makes me proud to be an American.”
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